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b e s t i l l m y h e a r t
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Posted on February 07, 2005 @ 7:19 pm
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Friend's Only!
Comment To Be Added!
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| BORED, OH SO BORED |
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Posted on April 22, 2004 @ 11:28 pm
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wrong turn - the movie |
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fill it out please
01. Who are you, what's our relationship?:
02. How and where did we meet?:
03. What's my middle name?:
04. How long have you known me?:
05. Tell me one good thing about myself?:
06. When you first saw me, what was your impression?:
07. My age:
08. Birthday:
09. My favorite band at the moment:
10. Colour eyes:
11. Do I have any siblings?:
12. Have you ever had a crush on me?:
13. What's one of my favorite things to do?:
14. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?:
15. Describe me in 3 words:
16. Name 5 things I love:
17. Do you think I'm good looking?:
18. How would you describe me to someone?:
19. Would you ever date me?:
20. Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21: What do you like most about me?:
22: If we could spend a day together, what would we do?:
23: Have we ever gotten in a fight?:
24: Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
26. What do you think my weakness is?:
27. Do you think I'll get married?:
28. What makes me happy?:
29. What makes me sad?:
30. What reminds you of me?:
31. If you could give me anything, what would it be?:
32. When's the last time you saw me?:
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?:
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?:
35. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?:
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?:
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?:
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?:
39. Would you make a move on me?:
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?:
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| i can't describe it |
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Posted on April 20, 2004 @ 1:39 am
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 indescribable |
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music |
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way away - yellowcard |
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i feel weird.
i feel like screaming.
i feel like crying.
i need to cry.
i think it'll make me feel better.
nothing can make me feel better.
fuck people.
damn why do things have to be this way.
our song.
my hair.
i'm such an emotional person.
why can't i just have my friends back.
i miss you.
i miss it all.
high school was fun.
why do i have to think this way.
why do i always let myself get walked all over.
i think i have a sick need to feel wanted.
if you knew you'd understand.
heart is breaking.
do you understand.
you can't stop me now.
i've made it this far.
how it feels to be alone and not believe.
i miss selena.
she was so wrong but so right.
this is how it feels to not believe.
i remember the huge crush i had on sean.
how i finally got to kiss him.
i remember how i used to look.
do you??
i remember how cute ally looked cheering.
i remember cheering.
lol, i remember how much trouble i got into when i kissed matt rapp after a game in front of pam!!
i remember jennifer j. dropping me from a partner stunt. right onto my ass.
cheer camp and mike. yumm
graduation night. damn did i get any sleep??
i don't know why i do this to myself. no one gives a fuck. this is not a fucking pity party either. just a vent.
goodnight.... i rock hardcore
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| talking backwards to you, it meant nothing to me |
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Posted on April 15, 2004 @ 9:25 am
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music |
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razorblades and cupcakes - story of the year |
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i feel like fucking shit! if i get sick again this is going to fucking suck. this morning started off great! Jake colored all over the walls with a green marker. It won't really come off. but it's cool cause i'll shawna said we'll just get some shit to cover it or whatever. I don't know what the hell he was thinking.
i tried to make this shit friends only but i guess i don't know how. fuck it. but if someone knows how to do it and you want to fix mine just let me know.
i want to talk to ally. i know she's upset and hurting. she's going to the funeral this weekend. i would have thought that amber would be going but she's in big bear. it sucks. i don't know how much more amber can take. three friends in three years. i miss kyla. we didn't talk much anymore, seeing as how i moved away and she was still in high school. she was the sweetest thing ever. the last time i saw her, she was sitting on my lap eating fries from wendy's. with that beautiful smile. we were at drea's getting fucked up. 16 is just to young.
i haven't been getting much sleep but then again, what the fuck is new with that?? not much. jeepers creepers 2 was sooooo fucking stupid, if you haven't seen it, don't bother. i feel asleep before it was even over. everyone snores!! it hard to sleep when that's all you hear from every corner of the room!! nicky poo is here. i don't know if he'll want me take him home later or what. i want to fix my car. i have to go down to imperial to check my mail. and that's pretty much it. i just need to get my bills. to bad i don't want to go.
i need to go shopping for some stuff. i knew what for this morning but now i can't remember. I'm sure i will later.
my throat hurts like a bitch. i need to get my nails filled. i have to send matthew another package.
"it's not what you will say, it is what you have done to let this come between us"
i need to check my friends posts. it's going to take forever. but oh well. i'm bored allready and so fucking tired.
last night the guys came over, richard, jb, nick and steve. we watched that dumb ass movie. steve didn't stay. everyone else did. jim bob in pink pajama pants.
why do i feel like everything i fucking say or do is fucking being watched and fucking over analyzed?? every littl fucking thing. it's just so stupid. i'm 22, not fucking 10. it's funny. so fucking funny.
must get pills and a shot. i refuse to get fucking sick again.
firewater from yellowcard. "right besides me"
samantha... i love you... hey short stuff, what's up? lmfao you're so passed out on the living room floor. i couldn't sleep like that. and with the t.v. on and the kids down here. nope nope.
"my once pleasant dreams"
i'm just in a lyrics kind of mood. they go so well with the emotions. i could be so damn bitter right now if i fucking let myself. but fuck it all. fuck getting upset. fuck bringing myself down. fuck it all and just live for the fucking moment. i could laugh because of how fucking stupid it all is. i have laughed, i will laugh, i've been laughing.
samantha, how is the fabric softener?? good?? bad?? confusing??
hands on the what?? oh, on the skyy.
it's soo fun like this.
get addicted
i feel this is going to be a long entry.
i have so much that i'm thinking about. it's great.
i want you all to ask me a question, any question, random as hell. don't be scared.
( here i am, pouring my heart onto these rooftops )
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| you don't want me back |
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Posted on April 14, 2004 @ 10:43 am
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breathing - yellowcard |
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i sit here and i can't seem to cheer up.
i feel like shit.
i know what i want.
i want it so bad right now that i feel stupid.
i know things will be fine.
i don't know how the other feels.
i think all the time.
i can still feel it.
i smile when i think about it.
i want to sleep all day.
i want to feel wanted.
i want to forget.
i want to take it back.
i want to be a better person.
i want you to want me. hehe
i want to party like a "rockstar".
i want to do what it is that i want to do.
i want to talk to whom i want to talk to.
i thank god i have richie for a friend.
i have so much fun when i'm with samantha.
i want to laugh like we laugh.
i want to stay out and there not be any "problems".
i want *wink wink* sammy you so get that. two hands on the skyy....
i need to laugh.
i think that i'm fed up.
i seem to be scared.
i know what i want.
i want things to be happy times.
i want it
i want it
i want to go to the "social".
i act so giddy when it comes time. sammy i know you get this
i noticed that i'm invisible.
i can't help it.
why can't i just stop thinking about it? oh i know, because i don't want to. i can still remember, i can still feel. my hearts sinking like a wave. 10 points if you get that. and i can feel you breathing and it's keeping me awake. coudn't stop my heart it's always beating. someone has to know it! if you don't it just lyrics from a song. i charged my camera batt. so as soon as we go out again, it's picture time baby. i might go to t.j.with the guys tomorrow. i wish you could go samantha. but alas your not 18 yet. soon though. did you do you stretch yesterday? i hope that i go. we'll see.
riley is sick. first time ever. but she's still sooooo happy.
"it's ok to be angry and never let go"
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| we'll be miles apart |
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Posted on April 12, 2004 @ 11:14 am
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breathing - yellowcard |
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So yea, i got the nipples pierced. it didn't hurt as bad as i thought i would. I sent matt a picture and he said that he likes them. of course he does. i got it done yesterday. samantha got her nose pirced. it looks very cute on her. i don't know if i have a picture right now but i will get one. not of me of course, but of the nose.
Riley is sick now. Someone left the air on in here last night and she is coughing and fussy. i'll take her to the doctors this week. jake is doing great. he had a good easter. yesterday was riley's first easter. we let her chew on a peep. i hate those things but she loved it.
matthew is doing good. he misses us and is getting sick. i want to talk to him. he's the only thing that makes sense to me right now. he's my heart, my soul, my everything. my reason.
last night was fun. i guess. sort of weird. *samantha and i went to hang out with the guys. i love being around them because they are matt's best friends. i didn't really drink much last night. just watched a movie,* played the question game, smoked to many cigs, got a headache, steve bought me some advil, he's very sweet, did something that i've been wanting to do*,* slept on a hard ass floor, found out some stuff. it was all in all a pretty good night. *we'll see how things go.
*shhhtalker* that ones for you ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xibreakheartsx ohhh no, it's 8 o'clock!! "your so little i could just pick you up and oh yea, bend over" i likea the *****! we are just too stupid!! but ohh so entertaining. you know this.
i've been wondering where all my lj friends are. hope you all still love me.
( <"like )
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| ouch |
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Posted on April 10, 2004 @ 8:55 pm
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i think that i'm going to get my nipples pierced tonight. i hope that it doesn't hurt to much!
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| the stars will cry the blackest tears tonight |
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Posted on April 08, 2004 @ 12:35 pm
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tom and jerry cartoons |
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I am sooo tired! There's nothing like three hours of sleep and getting woken up by Jake with my lip gloss all over his face. My wallet stripped of everything and my money tossed around on the bed. Now that's what a call the best wake up call ever!!
Disneyland was fun. We didn't have to wait in lines for that long. And the weather was good. After we were done with that and waiting for Steve and JB to get there so we could follow them back to san diego, Sammy and I walked around downtown disney for awhile. It's really nice down there.
It's been really hard to update on here and check everyone's entries, this computer is slow and there are always kids on it.
My car is still shaking! but after today it wont be anymore. Steve is changing my brakes and he thinks that the rotors are why the car is shaking so bad. He checked them out and said they were very very bad!!
Matt called really early this morning. I was so tired, I had only been alseep for an hour, and all i remember asking is if he had gotten my second package. He said he had and he was very happy about it. He said he would try to call tonight. I hope he does.
Last night Sammy, her friend Amber and I went and hung out with all the guys. We didn't leave until about 5. We drank, watched some of them play a surfing game, watched a couple of movies, laughed our asses off. good times. it's been nice to get out once in a while. Jake and Riley were asleep and in bed when I left. I don't want people thinking I'm a bad mother!
Well I guess I'll leave you with some pictures and try to catch up with everyone.
( spank that ass )
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| fun times |
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Posted on April 02, 2004 @ 12:51 pm
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I'm going to disneyland tomorrow. yea!!! wish you could all come with me!! love ya!
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| my hands around your throat and I think I hate you |
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Posted on March 29, 2004 @ 10:13 am
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the cat and the hat |
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Susan is the #8 most common female name. 0.794% of females in the US are named Susan. Around 1012350 US females are named Susan! source namestatistics.com
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry that I haven't commented on your journals. I've been very busy and very sick.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I haven't gotten to talk to Matt that much. I miss him. I wish you would come home.
I miss all of you. I love you all.
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| until the day i die |
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Posted on March 24, 2004 @ 10:03 pm
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the world poker tour on t.v. |
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.....
I'm in San Diego, again. I love it here. It's home. Ally is coming up here tomorrow and I hope that she gives me a call. I'd love to see her. Not a whole lot going on here. I wasn't going to go and hang out with some friends but I am now. Jake and Riley are sleeping so I'm good. Matt called this morning so I got to hear his voice and felt a little better. I miss him and I love him bunches and bunches.
I saw Taking Lives last night and it was great!! Angelina Jolie is SUPER hot in the movie. I went with Samantha and like usual, I think we were the loudest people there!!
Jake is a little bit sick right now. Nothing big, just a cold. I made dinner tonight and did a lot of laundry. I've been staying at my aunts house so I do what i can around here to help out.
I haven't had a chance to update on all of my friends and I'm sooooooooooo sorry. It's been hectic around here.
BITCHING:
People have been giving Matt shit about me knowing what happened out there. Someone told them that Matt called me from a cell phone and told me what happened. Such BULLSHIT! I didn't even talk to Matt for like two days after all that shit. I don't understand why they are acting like this. i mean damn, he's allready away from his family in fucking iraq and they stress him out even more!! That shit pisses me off.
END BICTHING!
Well my friends should be here soon to get me. I hope that you all still love me and comment!! SORRY!! hugs and kisses!!
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| DO IT!!! |
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Posted on March 20, 2004 @ 10:22 am
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Sum up your opinion or impression of me in one word, leave it as a comment in this posting, and then post this sentence in your own journal.
i got to talk to matt. i miss him. i want him home. I was scared. He's ok. He was just scared to.
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| please!!!!!!!!! |
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Posted on March 19, 2004 @ 9:54 pm
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top model show |
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Ok people who've friended me. There's so many of you now that I can't keep track of you. So fill this out and help me get to know you a little better. And yes I mean you lurkers!
1. What's your favorite book and favorite author?
2. Favorite movie and Band?
3. Clay Aiken; say something about him.
4.What's the coolest thing about: 1. You, and 2. Someone else on LJ?
5. Name some fandoms that hold your eternal allegiance. (At least until the next thing comes along)
6. What's your biggest fear/phobia?
7. Do you have a website? What's the URL?
8. List a font or two that you are totally in love with right now.
9. Snape; hot or not? Explain your choice if you want.
10. Why the heck did you friend me anyway? Don't you know I'm looney toons?
Ok, now answer my questions and give me something to read.
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| not good |
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Posted on March 19, 2004 @ 6:36 pm
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so the family readiness lady just called me. She gave me a number to listen to the Major or whom ever he was. It said that three people, including my friend Mikey were injured but ok and would be going back to work. The fourth one, however did not survive. He's from yuma and was working with Matt. I cannot express to you how freaked out that has made me. he was supposed to call this morning and didn't. i hope he calls tonight. i miss him and want him home and safe.
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| damn it |
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Posted on March 19, 2004 @ 5:32 pm
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why didn't he call.
i know i shouldn't be mad
but fuck. i want to talk
to him!!!!!
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| Fix this broken smile |
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Posted on March 18, 2004 @ 8:34 pm
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extreme home makeover - hot ass ty!! |
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i had such a scare tonight. Our friend Mikey was hurt in some enemy fire. He wasn't badly injured. He is just scratched and bruised up. But doing o.k. I was freaking out because he works with Matt. Like in the same office and I hadn't heard anything from him. Or about him. I was scared but I'm sure that everything is ok because "no news is good news".
I'm back at home and bored out of my mind. I want someone to talk to. I miss having people to talk to. Steve is supposed to call me back but we'll see what happens. He was talking about his car thing and sponsors and stuff.
I wish that Matt would call. I miss hearing his voice. I would kill for one of his way to long stories. To hear his snoring. anything really. i don't care.
Jake was just begging me for some cheesecake! My favorite!! I'm watching extreme home makeover and it's soo cute! I want a house so that it can be re-done. I'm not even sure who will read this. ohhhhhhhhh freaking well. I'm tired and crabby and bitter and I want to live in san diego again!!
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| i'm a busy little bee!! |
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Posted on March 17, 2004 @ 1:24 pm
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 busy |
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cartoons!! but ocean avenue in my head |
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Today I have to go and send off Matt's packages. He wants me to get him some starbucks coffee first though. I didn't get to talk to him today. I'm busy and I don't have anything gree to wear. I guess that means I have to take a trip to the store. that's ok though cause then i can go to the mall and get a new bra while i'm out.
I'm going out with my boys tonight and i want to get shitty drunk. But I have two babies to come home to. I'm going to see about getting an overnight sitter though. We'll see. I want to ask my friend Jessica. I think she'll do it. She's not old enough to go out anywhere so I think she will. I plan on paying her and everything.
I went out last night with Steve and Sammy my cousin. We just went and had coffee and then went the the bowling alley and played some pool. I lost. Sammy kicked my ass. I'm going to go home tomorrow so that I can collect my mail and get some clothes and stuff. I don't know when I'm going to come back down here though. We'll see. Some people might come down there so who knows.
I came home last night around 11 and Jake and Riley were still awake. So I fed Riley and she was out. Jake fell asleep as soon as I layed down next to him. He's been a pain today though. But I still love him. He's been having so much fun here palying with all the boys. Logan plays with him all the time and watches out for him.
So I've made plans on what I'm going to do to get out of the hell hole! I'm going to get a storage in may. Move all my stuff into it and move back up here and stay here for three months. I wont have to pay rent so I'll be saving a lot of money. i wont have to pay bills so that's even more money saved. I'll start looking for a place before Matt gets here and get all moved into it so that it will be ready for him and he wont have to worry about anything. I love that boy!
I need to get a bunch of stuff from Target that I want for the living room, all the safari type stuff. it's super cute! and goes with the couches and such. I want to be all done for him. I'm going to buy some cute little fake plant things and put them in there too. It'll be soo much more like a reall hime for him to come home to.
Jake is playing with me right now. Blowing kisses to me so that I have to catch them and slap them on to my cheek. He thinks its the funniest thing in the world. He is soooo cute!!
yea, my aunt called and they are bringing me a mushroom swiss burger!! yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
so who's missed me?? I've missed being on here. I had to take a comm. off though because they updated every two seconds and I was back about a thousand entries and I just couldn't do that anymore. Well as soon as I'm done eating I'm out!! I hope that you all take the time to read this!
*ally, i miss talking to you!! i'll be home tomorrow night! I'll get on msn! I hope that you have been doing good! talk to you later!
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| GAME TIME |
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Posted on March 16, 2004 @ 12:40 pm
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 hungry |
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music |
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tom and jerry cartoons |
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I guess we could call it "Who are my interests and what do they do?"
Pick an interest from my user info page that either 1) you know nothing about but sounds intriguing, or 2) you know something about but can't fathom why I would be interested in it, and demand an explanation.
stolen from princessbunny
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